*blows dust off*
I've missed you. I didn't mean to be gone for so long, but I think you'll understand why in a moment.
It was a lot of things, a culmination of things. Heavy and hard things. You all know about my son with the mystery chronic disease. He's still the same -- no better, not much worse. That alone was more than enough to deal with. Except that it wasn't. I also had two of my daughters move out into their own apartments. . . . you guys, this flying-the-nest thing IS HARD. Then, I faced a serious challenge with another one of my sons. It's one that had been going on for a long, long time, but I thought I could handle it.
And I was wrong.
I can't go into details, out of respect for my son's privacy, but let me tell you that our home life had become tremendously difficult. Fortunately, my son was able to receive the medical care that he desperately needed. With ongoing treatment, he is healing, and we are healing.
Yes, two are missing: Brendan took this photo; Lizz was at college.
Once the months (years?) of the chaotic home-storms around me had started to calm, I was left dealing with the shipwreck that was me. I felt utterly depleted, beat up, raw. Depression had sneaked into my brain like a stealthy fog, clouding my thoughts, dampening my emotions. I was numb, tired, overwhelmed, and paralyzed.
Thankfully, I have two loving people in my life that called me out on my behavior (or lack of) and I was urged to seek help. So I did. I was terrified, but I did.
And I'm so glad I did.
I'm now taking a medication that helps both chronic migraines AND depression, and I can see just how far into the dark I'd wandered. The black fog has lifted, and I can feel, I can laugh, and I can breathe.
So that's where I've been.
Slowly, our lives are mending.
Our daily rhythms are beginning to take form. Our homeschooling is back on track. I've been sewing a little here and there. I even reopened my shop. We still have a few bumpy days, but it's light years away from the crater we were crashed inside.
I finally sewed them some pajama pants!
t-shirt totes in the making... read about my project here!
I'm hoping to post here a little more. Not every day. Not even once a week. But I'm stepping back into my life, and I hope to show up here, too.
Thanks for reading....
Talk to you soon.