Monday, October 31, 2011

I had forgotten

I had forgotten what it was like to nurse a baby.



I had forgotten the sweet noises they make.

 had forgotten how empowering it is to provide the perfect food for my baby.

I had forgotten how sleepy it makes me…


And how little sleep I’d get at night.
But I must remember how blessed I am to be able to nurse my little one, this Donovan Jude.

It has been 10 years since I last breastfed one of our children. (I’ve only successfully nursed two of our children -- total!) Seven years ago, I tried to nurse Monkey 6, and because of my own ignorance, lack of support, a dishonest doctor and abscessed mastitis, I couldn’t. I landed back in the hospital for a few more days, severely ill and in excruciating pain. After that horrific ordeal, I didn’t have the courage to try nursing our next two children.

However, I was determined that this time would be different. I was GOING to breastfeed this baby! Before he arrived, I watched hours of online breastfeeding videos, read blogs, asked questions. I have amazing, loving friends that support, educate and encourage me. So please excuse my giddy enthusiasm, but I am so thrilled -- thrilled! -- to be nursing our little one, and for him to be thriving! I do know and accept that things can change, and to take them a day at a time. Believe me, this is one area of my life that I do not take for granted. I also know that I’ve done all I can humanly do to be successful at breastfeeding, so I am at peace with however it goes.


But for today, I’m going to enjoy the tiny squeaks, the snuggles, the milky dribbles and the sleepy grins. . . and thank God for it tonight, since I’ll be up.


8 comments:

  1. Beautiful post. I do believe my success at nursing my kids was through the amazing support I received. It can be so hard and exhausting. Well done, it sure is a wonderful relationship. xxx

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  2. Love him but am too old to be able to afford to get clucky. I too loved the fact that my children thrived and gre just on a liquid that my body made without me even trying. Cherrie

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  3. Good for you!!! I nursed 4 kids (one not mine - was a donor) for a total of 12 years and know what a big thing that is. I saw a mama tonight on Halloween wearing her baby and dressed as a milking cow! lol Soo awesome.

    I am so happy for you. You really conveyed your awe and pride and joy. Happy mothering!!
    ~Monika

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  4. I know what you mean by needing support. I nursed my first for just 4 months, and when I sought help all I got was a guilt trip about how my schedule that had gotten him to sleep 9 hours straight at night was killing my supply. I'm so glad I know so much more than I did the first time around and am able to keep going. (Almost 6 months exclusively now!)

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  5. I LOVE sleeping baby pictures! They look so peaceful and trusting. Thank you for sharing those photos C. :)

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  6. Gosh, I am literally crying right now. I am SO happy for you that you can do this for Donovan. I know what it means! So proud of you and wishing you all the best in this nursing relationship....hope it goes on for as long as you and he both want it to with no major problems. Remember, mastitis *can* pop up sometimes unexpected. It usually happens when you are the most tired and not getting adequate help/rest. Be prepared for it and don't freak out...have a plan on hand for a quick recovery. Email me if you need help. Love to you!

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  7. yay for you & donovan! breastfeeding is so wonderful. i have breastfed my last 4 - out of six. my "baby" just turned 1 on sunday & he is still going strong. he has never had formula & he has never had a drop of baby food. he eats table food with us now - that he can manage & he still likes snuggling with his mom at least 4 times a day. be blessed. enjoy your late nights. they will end but the memories stay with you. and you are right, if it doesnt work out or something happens, that is ok too - as long as donovan grows & thrives & is loved!

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  8. Beautiful baby!! Must have a fantastic mother

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