Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Sporadic, and slowing down

My posting, that is. Between schooling, house hunting, packing and sheer exhaustion. . . well, there just hasn't been much time for crafting, sewing, or blogging.

I'm slowing down -- way down -- on the Etsy front for awhile. I have a wonderful stash of autumn-y fabrics, loads of ideas and designs and sketches. . . but no motivation. My thoughts and time and energy are elsewhere, and I hope someday it may come back to Etsy. But right now, I don't know.

My time, my priorities, have been so unbalanced. Every so often, at the end of the day, I would realize that I didn't really see my children that day. I saw lavender. I didn't read to them. I read convos. I didn't pack up the van and go to the park. I packed up orders and went to the post office.

I thought reaching certain milestones and goals in my business would bring me great satisfaction and reassurance. A pat on the back that I thought I was missing. Instead, I felt empty, and strained ahead for the next goal, the next milestone, the next pat on the back. Meanwhile, missing out on my little ones' milestones and little daily celebrations. Carelessly overlooking the hundreds of pats on the back in the form of slobbery kisses, bear hugs and innocent laughter.

Don't get me wrong -- I love my Etsy shop, my work, my customers. But I love my children more, and my time with them as little ones is very, very brief. I have felt this pull, this whisper, for a long time, but ignored the message. This whisper recently became a wail through certain events -- and I can no longer ignore the message.

This is a hard decision for me, but so easy at the same time. I will still be here, sewing, crafting, creating, as this is part of who I am. But in the grand scheme of things, it is but a small part, and certainly not the most important part.

I have several Monkeys that would attest to that.

3 comments:

  1. they are all so sweet and adorable! you are making a wise decision which you will *never* regret!! i support you 100%!!

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  2. I think that is the best choice ever. I will miss your posts, but I can live with that! I will always be here as a friend and a contact and am sending big loves and hugs to you and yours!

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  3. They grow up so fast.
    Recently, I've been thinking about going back to work full time so that I can then start working on my masters. Once I did that though, I would have to work full time (probably more than 40 hours per week). My son is already 10 (almost 11). If I miss the rest of his growing up time, that will be it. I will never get it back.

    You follow your heart Connie. Monkeys are the best priority.

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